The way I see it... a girl and a guy can be “just friends”. But no matter what the circumstance, there’s always that little thing in the back of your mind saying, “well maybe.....” And for the first chapter of your life with him that little thing always seems to pop up. Whether it be a quick hug goodbye, a short kiss on the cheek, or an accidental hand stroke... that little thing in the back of your mind is the thing that makes you take that extra breath or your heart skip a beat. That little thing is always there... whether you really want it to be or not. Suddenly something happens, nobody knows when, except you, and you find yourself in one of two positions. Maybe you find out he likes someone else, or he does something stupid and all of a sudden that little thing in the back of your mind vanishes. Or maybe, every once in a while, that quick hug goodbye is held a little longer, or that short kiss on the cheek moves to your lips, or that accidental hand stroke grasps on a little tighter... and that’s the moment that you realize... you’ve met for a reason.... So listen to that little thing in the back of your mind, for that little thing’s name is destiny and it will guide you. But it tends to whisper.... so listen closely.....
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Sunday, January 09, 2005
Conclusion: Maybe I'm becoming an insomniac... seriously I'm not kidding. Its 2 am right now and I just really don't feel like sleeping. I mean it's not like I CAN'T sleep, because I could if I wanted too, I just really don't want too. I guess thats not technically an insomniac.. but close enough. And then I love how I always complain because I'm always tired and I don't get enough sleep but here it is.. 2 in the morning when I really COULD be sleeping if I wanted too, I just don't feel like it. I always get so much more done in the wee hours of the morning than I ever do all day. It's crazy.. I don't understand it.
Anyway, the last time we talked it was Christmas Eve. Actually, if I remember correctly, it was about 230 am on Christmas Eve. (I'm telling you, it's that whole insomniac thing...) So we'll continue with Christmas. Christmas this year wasn't too bad. I got mostly everything I wanted... material wise. I got a new cell phone (finally), a digital camera w/ printer, a bunch of books I wanted, some cds, and some clothes. So that was pretty good. However you know that whole.. "All I want for Christmas is you" thing.. well... definitely didn't get the "you". But its ok I suppose, I mean, I've lived without "him" for a long time now, I'll survive. I don't wanna let it ruin my Christmas, because honestly, I did have a good Christmas. Oh, but there is kind of a little wish I have. I wish I had a "friendlier" family. My family is so small, literally like a total of 40 people on BOTH my mom and dad's side combined, and you'd think we'd be all close and stuff. But we're not, at all. I mean, we all sit around on Christmas Eve, and I can't even like make conversation with some of them. It's terrible, I wish I had a fun family that I wouldn't mind hanging out with, not one that my mom has to drag me to talk too. Now don't get me wrong, I definitely wouldn't want to lose any single person in my family, I just wish I could get to know them better. It's weird.. whatever.
So summing up Christmas this year- family stuff on Christmas Eve, hanging around in my pjs all Christmas Day, going to Dayton for Christmas with the dad's family, and lots of exhanges with friends. Nothing too special, but it was still good. Anyway, I don't really remember everything I did after coming back from Dayton during the second week of Christmas break, all I remember is that it ended MUCH too soon. I really really needed that break and it was just way too short. I'm all for making break a whole month long, how amazing would that be?!?! I was so jealous of all the college kids who got a whole month off... a year and a half and that'll be me... how scary is that?
So I remember going to Gary Dodson's house one of those last nights when I was supposed to be at Carl's, and then we went to Steak n'Shake. That was an ok night, kinda boring, but what are ya gonna do? Then I definitely remember hanging out with Mihok a lot, cuz that's what I always do. I love ya Mihok :) Oh yes, and then there was the infamous Sandstone Christmas Party, which was amazing. I had such a great time, but it made me miss summer like crazy. I love all of those people to death, and I miss them. I miss that group, they were great. They ARE great. That's about all I remember from the rest of break, except that I spent like 2 days reading East of Eden which sucked and oh yea... Dana Martin called me. It was so cool.. weird.. but cool. I really miss her, she was so awesome. I remember when I went with her to see Dirty Dancing Havana Nights and we got in all these road blocks.. it was hilarious. Anyway, I was real excited to hear from her.
Well that was pretty much the extent of my break.. lots of friends, lots of sleep, and lots of reading. Good stuff. But lemme tell ya... this week back to school was hell. I hated every day of it. I just had no motivation whatsoever and just wanted to be home. I was on Wedesday though.. we had a snow day! It was such and answer to my prayers, I needed that day so bad. I didn't do anything all day, just layed around in my pajamas.. it was amazing. Except for the fact that we had to skip a rehearsal which really sucked because we need all the practice we can get. We had our first rehearsal on Monday and I thought it went pretty well for the most part, but I just hope we can pull this show together. And I really wish Mike wasn't acting in it as well as being my codirector. I wish I could have him sitting next to me during the whole thing. I just hope my cast is having fun. That's all I really care about. As long as they're having fun, then I don't even care how bad the show turns out.
School wise- I'm so glad that this semester is almost over. We have finals next week, which I'm extremely nervous about because I basically have to ace my English and Social Studies finals to get A's in the class and I really need A's in the class to keep my Gpa up so I can graduate with honors. This is driving me crazy. Plus the whole college thing is stressing me out like no other. Im so scared, I hope I end up where I'm supposed to be. Anyway, TV is going pretty good. Next semester I have TV for two periods so I really hope I get to become closer with my class. I would really like that a lot. They seem pretty cool, and I'd like for all of us to be friends.
Ok, now that I'm done with all that boring information catching up... I have two pieces of very exciting information. 1. Megan is going to Hilton Head with me over Spring Break!!!! I'm so excited... we're going to have a blast! My family rented a house down there and it's huge and Megan and I always have fun together so it's gonna be great. I can't wait to start shopping for it! And not only are we going to Hilton Head but just me and her are flying down there (the rest of my family is driving) because we're leaving on Friday morning and flying to Columbus so we can go to State Conference for theatre!!! I'm soooo excited, its gonna be great. I was really dissapointed when I found out I couldn't go because of the Hilton Head Trip, but my mom worked it out so we could still go and this is great. Its gonna be such a busy and tiring week but I'm pumped! 2. Bob Nickoloff is now my next door neighbor!!! Like literally, right next door. How sweet is that?!!? I just found that out today when he moved in and I love Bob to death so it's really cool. ^^ Just two pieces of totally random information that I thought I'd share.
I think I'm done with this entry for now. I'm should try to go to sleep, although it doesn't seem like it, I really do need the sleep. Goodnight everyone, have very sweet dreams of trees and swings and beautiful things... (as sara would say ;)
*I'm trying to prove to myself that I'll be ok without you...*
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