Do you ever have those days where you just wonder what it would be like if everything were different?  If maybe somewhere down the road you had made a different choice and then your life would be flipped?  I've had a lot of those days lately.  It's weird, I mean... what if I had never joined theatre.  What if that one day that I just decided to give it a try and go to Winter One Acts auditions my freshman year I just decided not to go?  I would have probably never done it.  And what would I be doing if I didn't do theatre?  Would I be playing volleyball, or softball?  I know I would have TOTALLY different friends.  I wouldn't have hung out with Megan and Rania tonight.  It's so weird to think about.  I thank God for theatre.. cuz I have the best friends in the world.  And if it wasn't for doing theatre, then I wouldn't have these friends.
   You know what else I often wonder about?  I wonder if things would have been completely different if I would have never gone to LC.  I mean, things couldn't have been THAT different, because I would still be at Steele, which is where I am now.  But I mean, possibly.  I wonder if I would be taking the same classes, I wonder if I would be in TV?  I wonder if I would still be best friends with Anna, like I was, or if I would be with Andy?  Things could have turned out totally different if I just would have chosen Steele to begin with.  But I once again thank God for the choices I made, because not that I didn't have a great life back when I was friends with Anna and Andy because I did, but my life right now... is amazing.  I know I complain a lot, and I know I get down on myself a lot, and I know that my life is absolutely no where near perfect.. but I think I like it that way.  Otherwise, it would probably get very boring.  And I am so lucky to have the people that I have in my life.  Because honestly... I need every single one of them.  Like my mom.  I need my mom so much.  Even though she gets on my nerves like crazy, I still love her and couldn't live without her.  Same with my dad and sister.  I'm so lucky to have them.  And Mihok, without Mihok I would be lost.  She is my savior and my best friend and I'm nothing without her.  And Rania, no one on this earth is as crazy as her, and I need to be crazy sometimes.  And Amber, Amber has been a great friend to me since the stone age and I wouldn't be even close to the person I am today without her.  Sara keeps me going.  She is always there when I need her to be and would do anything in the world for me even if it meant jumping off a cliff I know she would do it in a heartbeat and she is one of those people that 30 years from now I'll still remember what a great person she was.  And Tony... well... tony makes me smile.  And everyone needs to smile.  Oh and I can't forget about Becky, Leila, and Catey.  My golf girls are the best and I miss them and there is no one in the world that can make me feel as loved as they do.  I know there are so many more people that have made a significant impact in my life and I wish I could sit here and list every single one of them and how much they mean to me but I'm really tired and I'd like to go to bed.  So here's my conclusion for today: I think I'm gonna work on thanking people more.  Not thanking them for opening a door for me or picking up my pencil, but thanking them just for being there.  For listening or for being my friend. I need to be more appreciative.  That's it for now.  Have a good night with many sweet dreams.

ps- ... I still miss you...